An·guish: severe mental or physical pain or suffering

There was a time, not long ago, when life was going really well. Then suddenly, it wasn’t. One day, I was thanking God for all the good things happening in my life. The next day, I was bent over double, like someone had kicked me in the gut. Life threw me a curve that hit so hard my teeth hurt. I staggered backwards and waited for the stars to clear. “When I expected good, then evil came; When I waited for light, then darkness came.” (Job 30:26)

I knew God allowed pain in our lives to refine our character. Though I felt I was suffering unjustly, I knew the drill. Turn the other cheek, don’t get bitter, don’t avenge yourself, etc. That’s all good, but my brain is wound tighter than a two-dollar watch. The experience caused me incredible distress, and I couldn’t get past the anguish. It disrupted every aspect of my life, from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep.

I wondered if the mental anguish I was experiencing was part of God’s process or due to my poor response to the trial. One morning, in the midst of my anguish, I asked God about it. I drove to a remote part of the County, trying to enjoy the solitude and escape from life for a while. I used that time to pray. My exact words were, “Is this anguish part of Your plan?”

As soon as I whispered that prayer, in those words, I received a text message. It was 7am. I never get texts that early. It was from a friend whom I have known since she was a child. She sent me a Bible verse from Psalms, personalized with my name. The text read, “Loyd will be glad and rejoice in God’s unfailing love, for God has seen his troubles, and He cares about the anguish of Loyd’s soul.” Stunned, I realized this was the response to my prayer.

God answered me through that text, written with the same word I had just used in prayer. It didn’t explain everything; it simply let me know God saw my suffering and He cared about my anguish. My friend had no way of knowing what I was going through. She didn’t even live in the same city. She was, however, sensitive enough to God’s leading to be His unknowing messenger. Only God knew how much I needed that text. He spoke to me in the language of my pain. “Cast your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)